Take My Hand

[Tree]

Marina looked up at him, confusion clear as she tried to understand.

/..... Aren't you upset with me? /

For not listening to him and his very clearly stated boundaries?

[Sushi]

Ryker frowned deeper.

/Well I am now. If you didn't want me to come back, you could have at least sent a text./

[Tree]

Marina looked so distressed, shaking her head.

/No, please stay. I thought...../

She looked down, trying to not start crying for the millionth time lately.

/ I've missed you. This entire time. I've wanted to reach out but didn't..... I was afraid to hurt you. Or get rejected in text..... I thought you would be angry at me for coming to your home after you told me you'd never want me there? /

She explained, unable to stop the tears as she tried to focus on not running.

[Sushi]

/I'm not exactly thrilled about it, but I don't hate you./

Ryker shook water off the flowers and onto the floor.

"I got these for you so you'd know I wasn't just here to get in your pants."

[Tree]

Marina looked over the flowers, blinking.

/ I. .... I don't see you like that, you know that, right? /

She asked softly, gingerly passing the little fur princess to Ryder as she timidly approached Ryker.

/....I was not going to let you suffer because of my own issues. /

Her hopes or hurt feelings were irrelevant in the scheme of things really, and all she wanted to do was love him. She could let anything else go.

[Sushi]

Ryker sighed and held the flowers out to her. Ryder snatched them and used that as an excuse to exit the room. They needed a vase and trimming and much attention that could not possibly be handled in there.

"I get your intention. I still can't thank you for it, though."

[Tree]

Marina looked up at him, further confused as she stepped into him, going from little tears to full crying as she snuggled into his chest slowly.

/ It isn't anything you need to thank me for. /

She reassured him gently, not sure what she wanted but it didn't feel like thanks.

/I care for you. It was my fault you got so poorly, anyway.. .. I love you too much to see you suffer./

Even if it was potentially at the cost of her relationship. She loved him so much.... why did it still feel like he was going to leave her and give up at any second? Why did it feel like she was the bad guy and would never be ok ever again?

[Sushi]

Ryder frowned yet again, even as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Are you glad to see me or not?"

[Tree]

Marina looked up, stretching up to kiss him now. It was so desperately lonely and loving. Everything about her shifted to pull him into her, arms wrapping about his neck as she pulled herself into him.

She would deny giving herself air for as long as possible, starved for him in a way she didn't entirely want to acknowledge as she moved right back to kiss him again. She was very glad to see you, clinging to him now.

/ I am more than glad.... my heart isn't hurting anymore./

Even if he decided to leave her or be cross with her or.... whatever came of this, her heart was alright for this second. He cared enough to at least come see her again.

[Sushi]

He lifted her slightly off her feet.

"that's much better. You should have started with that."

[Tree]

Marina snuggled tighter to him, sniffling a bit.

/I missed you so much. I was starting to think you didn't want to see me anymore.... like you were too disappointed in me..../

Marina shifted to kiss him again and again, as if nearly panicked he might leave her with this admission..

/... thank you.... I know you didn't want me there .. I know it'll probably never be again.... but thank you. You helped me, too./

He'd given her something she needed very deeply, even if she didn't explain it. Making her feel as if she were enough was something she couldn't just ask for from others. It was just something that had to just happen organically or it wasn't even really there at all. She covered his neck and collar in kisses, inhaling deep to let his scent flood her senses, bringing a second wave of comfort.

/I love you so much. You take care of me so well........ I need you. Thank you. /

[Sushi]

"that's not what my brother says," he answered with a grimace.

"I let you go too hungry."

[Tree]

Marina wrinkled her face right up and turned to glabce over her shoulder.

/ Do not dip into this situation anymore, please? /

She urged gently of Ryder.

/I don't want him to worry over something that's not anything./

Especially being a tidbit underfed. She turned right back to Ryker, shaking her head as she reached up to stroke his cheek.

/ I'm perfectly well. Especially now that you're back. You did more good than harm.... for both of us. /

[Sushi]

/that was absolutely something. And if he didn't realize he did it, there's no chance the could learn from it./



Ryker watched her.

"I probably wouldn't be able to tell if it was bad for you," he decided.

[Tree]

Marina looked up at him, and she hated what she was about to do to herself.

/I figured that out..... eventually.... I told you that you could trust me, too./

She reassured him, nuzzling into him.

/..... does that mean none of the pieces that were what I needed were not real? /

She asked him faintly, kissing at him still. She didn't want this truth at all, but it still needed clarified. She shouldn't put weight in it at all if it was another thing that meant nothing to him.


/I guess it'll help the next person he brings into his home someday. .... but if there's anything else you're worried about with that stay.... will you give me the choice to speak with him about it before you do? /

She asked, not even bothering to mask how scared and heartbroken she felt. She knew it was different for Ryker, so why shouldn't what it was or wasn't be different?

[Sushi]

"who I was then is who I am at the deepest, most basic level," Ryker answered with a shrug.

"I didn't do anything that wasn't real to me."



/... I'll try to consider you first, but this is a triangle. We have a different relationship, but I do have a relationship with my brother. We talk./

[Tree]

Marina was quiet a moment to both before nodding slightly. She couldn't really explain the pieces that hurt her here but eventually she offered a gentle "ok"to Ryder, looking over Ryker.

She shifted to kiss at Ryker a bit more, just accepting the tiny piece of relief. It was real, even if he hated that part of him... which left her conflicted. Did he not actually see her as enough? Even if it was a brief, small bit?

Marina nuzzled and kissed at him, fingers wrapping into the back of his shirt.

/I love you, Daddy. So much.....I was so worried about you. I'm glad you're alright. I was fine.... maybe more food play with whomever is with you at home next. /

She wasn't foolish enough to ever hope to feel enough again with anyone. But that moment was going to be guarded close as she could manage.

/ I'm glad you look well, too./

[Sushi]

Ryker growled a little, shifting to pick her up by the armpits and hold her higher. He took his own kiss this time.

/I'm done talking about what's passed./

[Tree]

/Ok./

For now, how was she supposed to think when he was kissing her, anyway? She had made it very clear how much she'd needed and missed him as it were, so she was kind of distracted at this point.

[Sushi]

Ryker did eventually put her back down.

/Much better./

[Tree]

Marina looked up at him, nuzzling against him.

"I love you. "

[Sushi]

"are you feeling okay? No weird urges or anything?" He asked eventually.

[Tree]

/I just want to be near you? /

Marina answered, curled up on him while they cuddled on the couch, listening to the storm crash outside.

/i don't want you to go anywhere. /

[Sushi]

"I'm at least going to take off my soaked outerwear."

He shucked the leather jacket.

[Tree]

Marina shifted slowly, watching him, tugging at his shirt a bit.

/I would like to be closer?/

Touch was soothing and she was working through a bunch of emotions in the background. She kept catching on one in particular and tugged on the waist of his pants to get his attention.

/... You don't regret letting me stay, do you? /

Being a regret might be more than she could swallow.

[Sushi]

His smile vanished and he leaned back again.

"You staying is just one thing to you. It's a lot of things all at once for me."

And he was unhappy she brought it up again after saying he was done

[Tree]

Marina was silent now and looked at him with such hurt eyes. But she slowly snuggled back down and let it all fall. She wasn't.. alright. He regretted her, too. She didn't mean to bring something up to him that upset him. He might get rid of her right now. He wasn't fully back to ok yet. Or maybe..... maybe this was what he was going to be with her now. Twice as firm with her, not realizing how he was taking things she needed away without even realizing it.

/I wasn't trying to do anything but ask a yes or no question. I'm sorry. I'll let it all be./

She promised, hoping he'd just stay. She had to figure out how to be better for him, and quickly.

[Sushi]

He gripped her chin and turned her to face him.

"Listen to what I'm saying. It's not a yes or no question for me."

[Tree]

Marina swallowed as she met his eyes, dipping her chin slightly. She didn't know why he was so hot and cold with her, she didn't understand it. Still she just accepted his correction and firm behavior with her.

"We can let it go. It's alright. "

He trusted her before all this. He'd talk to her. She ruined that going to make sure he was ok, didn't she? She turned her face slowly to kiss his wrist, pressing her nose to his palm to soak in whatever touch he would give.

It sent a shock and terror down her spine as she recognized how desperate she was to have his forgiveness and acceptance. How she wanted to hoard every drop of attention he would give her incase it was gone sooner rather than later.

/Ryder..... if he leaves me.... it's ok if it's better for you to leave me, too./

She didn't want to come between them as brothers and if she had to let them go to live their best lives.....

[Sushi]

/Marina, he came here for you. Stop pushing us out and just take what we're offering./



Ryker frowned, his fingers curling into her hair. He leaned into her space, kissing at her neck before murmuring into her ear.

"If you're going to act like that, I might as well take you back on a permanent basis."

[Tree]

Marina bit her lip, eyes closing as she leaned into him.

/ Darling...../

She breathed softly, trying to sort out the newest wave of thoughts colliding with the runs already circling about her mind. She turned, kissing at him tenderly now.

/No, daddy. I'm just trying to listen to what you want. /

He said no more talking about things. So she let it lay, fingers curling into the waist of his pants.

/ I love you. /

She missed you so.

[Sushi]

/you're being weird about it./

He nipped her ear, something hungry in his tone.

/Makes me think you haven't recovered yet./

[Tree]

Marina shook her head a bit.

/I have, mostly. .... but there's something missing in my life that I got there. It's complicated. It's not anything I need to talk about right now. I just want to love you. /

She also refrained from pointing out that he was the one acting less than all himself. She shifted up in his lap, turning to catch him in a fiery kiss now. She missed him.

[Sushi]

/if it was something you didn't need to talk about now, you wouldn't have ignored me./

She got back all that she gave.

[Tree]

Marina pressed right to him, unable to help herself. She wanted him and they were here instead of there. .... but what if it wasn't wise just yet?

/.... it wasn't intentional. I was just trying to help my mental state... Daddy.... Ryker.... It was much more than just pleasure or helping you. At least for me. ... I was just hoping that the pieces that would sustain me going forward weren't pretend. .... it's alright. It doesn't matter. I've got you now and that's all that matters. /

Because if she let herself focus on the pieces he didn't say, let her mind run away with all of it.... like his very clear regret of her? She would crumble away. Why did she only suffice when he was starving?

[Sushi]

/liar, liar./

But he kissed her more, his hands hot as they slid under her top. Everything he did was so at odds with everything he said. It was hard to tell if it was distracting or goading or reward or punishment.

[Tree]

/.... No. I am not lying. /

She was trying to make herself believe it was not important at all. That those things needed to be forgotten and left behind..... it wasn't really working. But she was trying. His touch was full on distracting, though.

/ We're not doing this unless it's for both of us, daddy? /

She wouldn't be another regret or later made to feel shame because she wanted his touch.

[Sushi]

Ryker growled his irritation against her skin. However, before he could retort, Ryder spoke.

"Sorry, Marina!"

And Ryker was knocked from the couch to the floor by the business end of a broom.

[Tree]

Marina stared and started crying hard.. she couldn't even make words as she ran off to the bedroom to cry. She couldn't do this and with Ryker and Ryder fighting while she was a mess of feelings?

He didn't even ask her. He didn't even... she wasn't getting a say in anything in her life. She was so hurt and so frustrated she wanted to scream at both of them. But.... but it was useless. She just gave up, crying her heart out. Why were they doing this to her? She thought they wanted her input in their relationship web

[Sushi]

There was a ton of noise and crashing. Eventually, though, Ryder edged into the room.

"Marina?"