I Didn't Think It Would Happen Like This

[Tree]

"I guess.... but none of that knowledge exists to me. "

He pointed out with a glance at the lady who placed a frothy beer before him. He had to make it look like he was doing something, yeah?

[Sushi]

"it could. You just haven't had any reason to bother with it."

[Tree]

"I guess..... but I don't think you know how much you know. "

He decided, mind blown.

[Sushi]

Willow shook her head.

"Your children could probably tell you just as much about food.'

[Tree]

"Maybe..... but that just makes them impressive, too."

[Sushi]

"it's really weird for you to say that. Like... With how much you know and your usual attitude about knowing things."

She shook her head

[Tree]

"The food potions are kind of overwhelming."

Ansel admitted with a tiny smile.

[Sushi]

"seems like that would be something easy, convienent and harmless to cheat on."

[Tree]

Ansel looked at her now, eyebrow inching up.

"Technically, yes. But I'm not a fan of information that way. There's something nice about Independence, too. "

[Sushi]

Willow shrugged.

"I was thinking of it more like a study guide?"

[Tree]

"I much rather keep learning with you and the kids, if you're willing? "

[Sushi]

She nodded.

"I just didn't want you to feel displaced, especially not over something that doesn't matter."

[Tree]

"It very much matters to me. I want to be a better dad. I wanna be able to actually care for my kids and wife when needed. "

Or wanted, which was actually more likely to be the case.

[Sushi]

Willow smiled to herself, softening inside as she lowered her eyes to pick at her food. She loved that idea, not for herself but for the children.

"They deserve to have family like that."

[Tree]

"You all do."

He answered with a soft squeeze of her hand, eyebrows arching at the cup he held. Never mind. He'd drink this ... but not order this stuff. Ever. Again. Eww.

"Though, letting the kids help with cookies has turned counter productive."

[Sushi]

Willow grimaced and took the cup from him. She didn't want him to drink any more of it. Gross.

"I thought it was fun."

Back when she'd been the one doing it.

[Tree]

Ansel smiled a tiny bit.

"I can't seem to tell them mo when they ask for one more...."

He admitted sheepishly.

[Sushi]

Her expression faded back to a smile.

"That's kinda cute."

[Tree]

"They just like.... Rosie just looks at me, and Aisling doesn't even ask, and if course Brooke hits me with the please daddy or I get "Ansel Dad"ed and.... "

He was hopeless

[Sushi]

Willow's gaze lifted as she chewed, something tense inside her finally uncoiling. After a second, she reached out, hesitated for a second, and brushed his hair away from his face. Her fingers trailed down the side of his face, tracing his jaw. She leaned in to give him a peck, lingering close for a moment.

"There you are."

[Tree]

Ansel smiled at her awkwardly, eyes roaming her.

"Yeah? I've been here the whole time? "

[Sushi]

Willow pulled back with a sudden trill of shyness.

"Not really," she murmured, giving him space as she returned her attention to her pizza.

"For a second, you looked so much like the man I first fell in love with again."

[Tree]

Ansel glanced to the beer she had tugged to her side of the table. He couldn't hide his minor flush of confusion, looking about as if the walls might have answers.

" Do I really seem so different? "

[Sushi]

Willow didn't look up (and also didn't return the offensive beverage). She just shrugged, still speaking in low tones.

"I lost him for a long time in the middle."

She chewed her next bite slowly.

"So maybe you're not. Maybe I just have a harder time recognizing it now."

[Tree]

".... I got lost for a bit, it's true. "

He agreed slowly, reaching to poke her food to discover it's texture.

" I still kinda feel like an imposter in my own skin sometimes. "

Partly from learning how to be new, partly from settling back into what he was.

[Sushi]

Willow nudged the piece towards him so he could pick it up. That tense part inside her had coiled back up over the course of the conversation. Though it was easier, like letting a seized muscle pull the way it wanted, it was also more painful for the same reasons. It left her in that lonely pool of loss instead.

"You don't have to be him. You can be whoever and however you want."

[Tree]

".... I dunno. I want to be someone who loves and cares for their family.... but I also wanna be me. . .. but like a better me? It's weird. Sorta feel like the goo a caterpillar becomes before being a butterfly. "

[Sushi]

Privately, Willow was increasingly upset with herself.

"You only have about fifteen more years where you have to worry about it on the daily," she consoled.

"If you can fake it for that long, you'll be free to be whatever you like and people will still say you're golden for the rest of your life."

[Tree]

Ansel looked at her, confused.

"I feel like we are talking about a different thing? I'm not faking loving the kids. You know that, yeah? "

[Sushi]

Willow didn't look back at him.

"I know you do. But it's not reasonable to expect yourself to act inauthentically for an extended amount of time in order to show it."

[Tree]

Ansel looked at her, a glint of hope forming.

"So.... they can eat all the cookies? "

For a man who had never eaten a single one, he looked a child delighted with the most precious of sweet treet gifts.

[Sushi]

"Gus might get a little fat from it... maybe a couple cavities, but it won't kill them."

So yes, they could eat the cookies.

[Tree]

Ansel pondered this, smiling at her after a minute.

"But we don't make cookies all the time. So maybe less cavities? "

It was so innocent. Like trying to barter about how poorly constant cookies could harm the children, as if it was something they could fully dictate like monopoly cards.

[Sushi]

"probably. Teeth brushing too."

[Tree]

"Huh. Wait.... not vampires need that, too?"

He was confused, looking at her now.

"I thought humans just went to the dentists to have their mouths cleaned? "

Like dogs?

[Sushi]

Willows eyes widened in horror.

"The children haven't been brushing their teeth?"

[Tree]

Ansel looked thoroughly reprimanded as her face changed. He tilted his chin down. He answered, though it was a mumble of shame.

"Well Brooke and Rosie have been.... and Aisling when we can manage it. She is.... well ya know. I thought Gus was just brushing to be included. "

So he was, but only on grounds of inclusion .

[Sushi]

Willow recoiled and dropped her attention to her last. That one had slipped her grasp, dammit.

"Sorry. I was just surprised."

[Tree]

"It's alright. I didn't even think to ask. I'm sorry. "

He looked her over, growing more confused.

/ Why are you upset with yourself? /

She could easily be upset with him. He deserved it

[Sushi]

Willow twisted her fingers under the table, digging her nails against her cuticles. Great.

/Because I'm stupid./