Let's Play!

"Go.Away."

She hissed through the pillows, crying like her entire world had crashed. It pretty much had. She just wanted to be loved back and heard and.... she pretty much felt worthless and maybe even used by Ryker while she felt deeply betrayed by Ryder. She just could not understand. She'd been so close to the edge of things before Ryker had come back....

Ryder slowly edged up to the bed.

"Can I see you?"

"Why? "

She asked, not moving to look at him, something about her was crushed too much to give in and let him do whatever.

"because I'm worried about you."

Ryder knelt down but didn't broach her perimeter.

"I'm really sorry. I had to react quickly."

/ It doesn't matter. /

She repeated, but the words felt acidic in her mouth, trying to not let it seep into her words as she shifted up to look at Ryder. She couldn't mask her betrayl. She'd just asked him to let her have a voice in her relationship with his brother. Not even ten minutes before. But. .. it was pointless. She was just the girlfriend. She felt so small and wanted to know why the duo were doing this to her.

Then she felt sick at the idea that he had just pushed her lover into another's arms because she couldn't feed him... she wanted to cry all over again.

"I'm fine. See? "

She say up fully so he could see no harm to her body

"it does matter."

Ryder looked across her with concern.

"Can you lift your hair?" He asked, trying to respect her space.

"I'm just trying to see if he burned you or not."

Marina shook her head.

"No. If I was hurt like that I would notice. "

She shifted though and showed her neckline to him.

" Why are you so worried? It's not like a bit of heat is going to do me in. "

"I'm sure you would notice. You just wouldn't care."

He let out a slow breath, apparently not finding whatever he'd been worried about.

"It's not that kind of burn."

"What are you worried about now? "

She sighed, waiting to be told another thing she needed to fear or flee from her lover. She loved these two. Why were they hurting her so much?

Ryder lowered his gaze.

"I was just afraid he'd hurt you. Something wasn't right."

"I know he wasn't acting himself. It's alright. "

Marina offered to Ryder, noticing he needed her to get over herself and her emotional rollercoaster. She shoved her feelings back and reached to squeeze his hand.

"I'm fine. It's all alright. Did you get hurt? "

She asked faintly of Ryder, eyes roaming him now as her heart ached more. Why wasn't she just worth loving and having? Why was being wanted only going to happen if something was wrong?

Ryder's expression was pained.

"I want to take care of you. Can I do anything for you?"

".... I don't think there's anything to take care of anymore. "

She whispered, looking back towards the bedroom door. She let a small sigh go, holding out her hand towards him.

"May I see your phone, my watch is dead. "

She was not about to point out it had actually gotten broken when she'd fallen from Ryker's arms. She didn't mention any of it as she kept crying and waiting. She couldn't stop the tears, even as she locked up her feelings.

Ryder's eyes filled up with tears.

"Was I supposed to let him hurt you? How... How could you expect that of me?"

Marina looked at him, heart breaking as she shifted to gently pull him to her, kissing his forehead as she hugged him.

/No. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just in a tail spin right now. I'll right soon enough. /

She reassured with tender tone, feeling almost like she was being choked by an invisible hand about her throat as she comforted him. He needed her to pull out of herself quicker.

/ We are alright, my love. I'm sorry I'm being so dramatic./

Ryder closed her in his arms.

"I feel like you're slipping away and there's nothing I can do."

Marina shook her head, curling into him since he wanted to hold her.

/ I'm right here. /

She pointed out to him softly, turning to share a kiss with him. She loved him so much, he was trying to keep her safe and protect her when he shouldn't ever be put between her and his brother.....

"Your phone? "

She asked him again.

Ryder slowly drew back, looking like a kicked puppy. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. There was a crazy in the screen.

"Okay. Anything else you want?"

He offered her the thing

Marina took a few breathes, wiping her face as she tucked it on the nightstand. She'd do her thing in a minute. She shifted to touch over him, examining him for any injuries.

"Are you hurt?"

She repeated, glancing up to the livingroom as the house shook with thunder again.

"Where's Fritz?"

"I left her in the kitchen. She's okay."

He glanced at t the door.

"Do you want me to go get her?"

Marina thought about it, nodding slowly.

" please? I think we both could use kitty snuggles."

Marina shifted back and reached for the phone on the nightstand.

She carefully started a new text message to keep from ivading privacy between Ryker and Ryder. She ran a finger down the crack in his screen, heart aching more.

~Hey. It's Marina. I borrowed Ryder's phone cause my watch is all busted right now and my cell is MIA, and this was too important to wait.

I love you. I love you endlessly. I do not understand what's happening or what has changed. You are so precious to me.... but you aren't you right now and that has put me in a terrible spot. I want you. I crave you. .... I wish you were with me and covering every inch of me with adoration and sweet praise and adoration. I miss the heat of your words teasing and coaxing me into embracing every desire with you. I ache for feeling wanted and worthy the way you do. .... I will never forget finally feeling like I was enough for someone.

Even if it was only a fever dream.

I have to wake up and stop being selfish, though.... I'm not asking to end us.... but I will have to refrain from seeing you until you are back to the man I went to help in the first place. .... the one who placed me in a box because he knew letting me in his home would be bad for himself. The man who knew he was protecting us both when he denied every question or request.... the man who loved me back.

Please do not contact or reach out to me again until you are once more yourself.~

She didn't want to send it. But she couldn't have others at risk just because she wanted to feel like she was wanted and enough..... because she wanted to feel fully consumed and satisfying to another person for a bit.

She just switched the phone to full silent after and handed it to Ryder when he returned with Fritz, snuggling down with the two.

Ryder had resumed his place beside the bed when he returned.

"Are you sure you don't want anything?"

Marina looked up at him, shaking her head slightly as tears built and feel over and over in waves as she fought them now.

/.... can you just cuddle and love me a little bit? .... and.... is there a way to be sure you're safe if your brother loses his mind over my text? /

She could make herself safe, but what about him?

"what did you..."

Halfway through the question, the front door slammed hard enough to be felt all the way back here. Ryder cringed.

"He's not a threat to me... But what did you text him?"

Marina looked at Ryder, sniffling.

/ You can just read it. It's on your phone./

She pointed out, looking crushed to have to talk about it all right now.

"technically, yes, but I figured it was private."

He pulled it out to read and was grimacing by the end. Still, he didn't say anything about it. He just climbed up to cuddle him.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen."

"It's not a big deal. He'll get better now and everything can fix. "

Marina answered automatically, swallowing as she looked at his phone.

"If you're safe from him it's all OK. "

She added, knowing that she just unofficially lost the only relatively close to soothing partner since she'd lost Ephriam. But it was not something anyone needed to worry over.

She carefully shifted to just tuck into Ryder, forcing her body to relax as she closed her eyes.

"You have all of me. "

In more ways than one now

"maybe."

He rubbed her back.

"Will you throw me away too?"

Marina cringed hard.

"I'm not throwing anyone away. But if he's going to harm me and put you against him..... it's the right thing to do to ask for space. "

She nuzzled his chest as she gave up stopping her tears.

" I love him.... I will miss him."

Because she had no hope. Not after how this went down. At least she got to kiss him and be close for just a moment more. .... another love to treasure and try to live off memories.

"we're brothers. Fighting is part of the package. But if this is what feels right, okay."

Ryder kissed the top of her head.

"Just for the record, I didn't know if he was going to burn you or ensnare you. It feels the same."

"Ensnare?"

Marina asked softly, letting him hold her.

/.... nothing feels right anymore. /

She admitted, keeping to her word of giving him all of her.

"uh... Charm? Magically-speaking? I mean, sometimes we do it by accident, but with how off everything felt..."

Ryder just shrugged and hugged her closer

Marina shrugged slightly.

"Waste of magic. He already has me, hopeless so. "

Marina answered, looking more put out as she corrected to "had", feeling so hurt.

Ryder lowered his gaze and then borrowed his face into her hair.

"I don't understand why this is like this right now."

Marina hugged Ryder tenderly, kissing at him.

/ I'm sorry, my love.... I tried./

Because at the end of the day she couldn't help but feel this all came down to her.

Ryder shook his head.

"That didn't feel like the problem"

"Then what could be? "

She asked with a small look away.

"I don't know," he told her again, clearly vexed.

"I don't think it's just you, though."

Marina looked up to him, confused.

"What do you mean? .... are you having problems with other relationships?"

Confusion knit his brow.

"My boyfriend is on a month-long cruise off the coast of Spain. We're fine."

He rubbed her back.

"I just... That whole thing and our relationship and your relationship with him... It just... Something is off. It shouldn't have gone down like that."