Let's Play!

Marina wrinkled her nose, sighing.

"Not even a ballpark? Like.... you're aware of exactly all the ones absent in my circle for which ever reason. So like..... just gimme a range? "

Cause worst case there, she'd give the two weeks man a month. Oops, you got bonus lead-on time before she wised up.

He rolled back over onto his back, splaying out with a sigh.

"which one in particular are you talking about at this moment?"

"I don't wanna answer that. It'll influence the unbiased range. "

She answered, looking at the face in her lap. She kissed his forehead, looking over his face.

"I love you so much. .... I guess I'm just hoping my lovers aren't so cruel as to do such a thing...."

"Hale or Tarren are the only ones that I think even slightly capable."

"..... I love Hale.... but I can not promise if he did that to me in such a heartless fashion? I'm not saying that I'd be capable of retaining myself .. .... I very well ..... I wouldn't handle it well. "

She shook her head.

"Tarren and I are... closer to friends with benefits? It's complicated and shades of gray."

She just shrugged, eyes misting as she thought over others.

"But no. That's not who I am referring. "

"then you're probably fine. No timeframe needed."

"... I need it. "

Marina admitted with a sad look.

"what do you mean?"

"..... I.... every day hurts. Every time I think of them and know that they love me. There's a million variables that I'm not addressing.... but putting them aside.... being essentially a -pending- case of being ghosted? To be caught in limbo........ I will wait forever.... but....."

But she wasn't a decorative doll on a shelf. She was a person with feelings. How was it even sort of fair to ask this of her?

"that is an entirely different question, and one that you need to answer yourself. How long do you want to wait before you're done?"

Marina looked down at him sadly.

"I don't want to let them go. It's a fault of mine. .... but... the longer I go without .... the more my mind can't understand. The more my heart hurts. But.... it feels like giving them anything less than they'd give me is unfair at the least. "

She pointed out, even if her lovers had known where she was and the basics of the delay, even. It was more than she had for the person(s) that weighted heavily on her now.

" I do not think I'd known when enough was enough. That's why I was asking."

"I think you should trust yourself more. This is something that only matters for you. It doesn't matter what they would do. That's for them to deal with."

"But.... what if.... what if I miss it by just a day? What if I...I won't stop loving them.. even those I'm no longer with are loved. It's.... difficult. "

"you can always reopen the door. That's the thing about having time."

"..... it takes away all the effort to heal enough to continue to survive.... and no one wants someone who holds as tight as I do..."

"no, Marina. That's not the case at all. But if you think that, then you're not ready to open the door yet. It'll simply be their turn to wait for you."

".... I'm not really worth waiting for."

She sincerely meant it, too. She looked over his face, lightly tracing a finger along his jaw.

"I love you. "

"but you have so many people that prove otherwise every day. We're all always waiting for our turn with you."

He l smiled and captured her hand.

"I love you too.'

Marina softened, eyes watching him a while.

"Yes. I don't understand it. I don't understand your coexistence with each other.... or how your all seeming to at least.... comingle for my benefit. Some of you have even become friends or more ...."

She loved you all so dearly.

"Christmas.... you guys giving me Christmas each year...."

She smiled a tiny bit and kissed him again.

"One day my heart is whole. "

"because you're worth it," he reiterated

".... I wish I felt that way about myself. "

Marina settled on, finding the best words to explain how she felt on the inside.

"...... thank you for your efforts to exist with Hale."

She added, eyes tender as she traced heart shapes on his cheek.

"you can feel that way in time. It just takes a bunch of little steps."

"For now I think I just wanna let you catch me if I fall? "

Marina answered softly, leaning down to steal a couple more kisses before the next crash of thunder hit.

She shifted slowly from the bed now, tip toe peeking out the window.

"It's so angry outside. "

"any time."

He watched her go but didn't get up himself.

"you don't have to look at it. You could just come back to bed?" He suggested.

"Yeah.... but like....it doesn't go away with not seeing it, you know? "

She noted, eyes growing wide as she watched some lower dark clouds rolling across the rough waves of the ocean. She backed from the window and snuggled right into Ryder.

"I miss them. All of them. "

"I'm sorry. I wish you didn't have to."

He cuddled her easily until the next loud boom, which was followed by the sound of the door slamming.

"Did the wind blow it open?"

".... do you want to check, or just leave? "

Marina asked, already scooping Fritz into his arms as she was trying to sooth both puppies who were hiding under the blankets whimpering.

Ryder chuckled slightly, sitting up finally.

"If there's a spider, I'll call you to come save me."

Marina smiled at him a tiny bit.

"I can squish all the critters you need, love. "

But she was going to avoid whatever magic seemed to be coming at them in the form of a storm.

Ryder climbed out of bed. His cackling laughter followed back almost as soon as he'd stepped out of the bedroom.

/No critters./

/ Kay..... just the wind?/

What was so funny?

/no./

"Should have checked your weather app."

"Shut up. You know what? Forget it. I'm going back home."

Marina stilled at the voice, mouth dry as her chest seized.

/Is.../

There was no way it was who she thought it was. She numbly snuggled Fritz, peeking ever so slightly about the corner towards the front door.

A completely drenched version of Ryker stood in the entryway, holding a little bouquet of dripping wildflowers. His dark hair was plastered to him, water pouring off his leather jacket. Still, even with the heavy mantle of irritation, he looked good, really good.

Marina looked over him from just barely peeking behind the corner, chest feeling incredibly heavy as she looked between the two brothers. She didn't know what to do it anything to say. She just felt so profoundly off balance. She'd kind of started to lose any sort of hope that he was coming back at all, honestly.

She swallowed back tears, feeling that trickling feeling down the back of her throat. Each emotion battling for dominance, who knew which would win out. It was any one's guess, the woman normally delighted to jump into her lovers, this time she remained tucked just in the hall.

/Is he alright? /

She asked faintly of Ryder, shushing little Fritz when she let free a tiny meow. She was the center of attention. Her. Look at her!

/why don't you see for yourself?/

/.... because he might not want me. /

She answered back with soft, tender sadness.

/ should I leave? /

/he didn't come here for me. And he has a place for himself./

Ryder chuckled.

/Who do you think those flowers are for?/

/Oregano. /

The most pitiful part was that she sounded sincere as she looked up to Ryder, eyes drawing away from her worry to Ryder.

/.... I ..../

Still, she timidly stepped around the corner, petting Frotz as she looked over Ryker. Bright, watery eyes looked over the man as she stood. This was really, really hard. She loved him so much and he was here and....

/ I'm sorry./

She whispered, swallowing repeatedly.

Ryker frowned at her, quiet for a long moment.

"That's not the welcome I expected."