Let's Play!

Ansel gave it effortlessly, scooping her up into him as he cradled her close to him all the way to bed. He snuggled her in with donut cat, laying there and watching his wife for a while as she slept.

/ Really think we've got a shot at a future past all the trauma?/

He asked of Liam, wishing that he wasn't the cause of it.

/do you think so?/

/ Sometimes.... without doubts. Then I'll catch sight of exactly how destroyed things are..../

All because of him.

/do they seem as broken as they did when you first started meeting with me?/

/ Not everything, but there are bits..... they're... they aren't gonna heal as easily. /

He sighed, mind struggling.

/ Forgiving myself is pretty much impossible. But I'm trying to at least accept it. But her...../

/go on?/ Liam invited gently.

/ Forgiving rape? Forgiving the loss of her children? It's just too deep a wound. /

He felt hopeless.

/ what makes you think that?/

/.... dude. I took her body from her.. I'm supposed to be safe for her. /

He sighed.

/ Then took her children./

He took all she held dear and stripped away everything that she was. He felt immense guilt and shame this night as he watched her sleeping.

/allow me to rephrase. I understand why it feels insurmountable. What i don't understand is if you're feeling that it's insurmountable for you or insurmountable for her?/



The longer she slept, the less sound that sleep became. Before too long donut cat was relegated to the floor, courtesy of her fitfulness as she wormed around in her sleep.

"Shhhhh, it's alright. "

Ansel soothed, reaching to tuck her into him and kiss her forehead.

/ Yes./

He answered simply, as it would be impossible for him to ever fully pass it. He doubted it would be different for her.

/ well, for her part, I'd say she hasn't given up yet, given that she's still with you and trying. She wouldn't have the will to do so if at least some part of her couldn't conceive of a future worth having with you. /

Liam paused to let him take that in.

/ for your part, expectation might be the bigger part of the hurdle. What does getting past it look like to you? /




"Ansel..." she murmured in her sleep.

Willow eased only a little, her face still drawn.

/.... enjoying the present? /

He started simply, lightly pressing kisses to Willow.

"You're safe. "

/ are you not doing that now? /



Her arm snaked around his waist and she mumbled something that was unintelligible but suspiciously fussy.

/ I'm trying.... but she's not enjoying it, no matter her efforts..../

It was heartbreaking.

/ has she given you any indication as to why? /

/... honestly? Probably. But the last few days are kinda.... full. /

He admitted, feeling a bit bad he was so jumbled.

/ It sounds to me that you need a break before trying to tackle this problem. Remember, rest is an important part of healing. She can wait for you to be ready to move forward, same as you do for her. /



"Ansel," willow mumbled a little more clearly, her eyes cracking open, "are you okay?"

Ansel flinched and ducked down, kissing Willow.

"I'm fine, darling. Just can't sleep. I'm right here. "

He promised tenderly.

"It's alright, sleep my love. "

/ Yeah..... that's not so easy now. /

He started slowly.

/ any particular reason? /



"But..."

Willow was confused, half asleep and unable to decide if she should go back to sleep or try to shake it off.

"Why? "

Ansel cooed at her.

"Sleep. I'll talk as much as you wish later. "

He promised tenderly.

/ That's not mine to tell.... but, it's just.... not really possible./

Willow whined softly, pulling on him.

"Don't wanna talk."

She curled her arms around his neck.

"Sleep with meeee. Seashells... or candy..."




/ okay. Then make a deal. Be direct about you both taking a break and make sure you're both on board. /

/ I'll try..... but it'll probably hurt her... I'll feel terrible. /

He said with guilt, melting into his wife. Sweet thing.

/I think I'm keeping her up. /

He shared, trying to let it lay for now so he could focus on soothing her the rest of the way back to sleep

Liam let him do as he wanted.


It wasn't difficult to coax her back to sleep, but she was a little fussy until the end. She wanted him to go to sleep too... and to dream about seashells or candy.

Ansel eventually tried to sleep. He didn't manage it very well. When he finally did and she was tumbled in to it? Kinda chaos that would make one really, really confused. The entire place rolled endlessly on like a candyland maze. Chocolate rivers, cotton candy mountains, rainbow of gumdrops in the distance, with large gumballs hanging in the sky raining down teeny tiny nerds.

The issue was, Ansel seemed really confused as he was fully constructed of seashells and he found himself running both away from. Taylor and towards Taylor. One female one male, all while he called after the female version to tell him where Willow was. The female version just let out a wind chime like laugh of clicking sea shells.

"This is weird."

All at once, willow was just standing there in her pj's, trying to shield her head from being pelted by the nerds.

"Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. I don't like this!"

She stumbled around before picking up a licorice rope and darting across the path. She yanked it taunt just after he passed over it, forming a tripwire to thwart the Taylor chasing him.

Ansel heard the crash and shatter of the shell crafted figure before he stumbled to a stop. The clouds moved on as if full victim to Willow's will, raining in the distract far off as the light laughter of the female version came up behind Ansel.

But all he could do was marvel at how lovely he saw his wife, even if she was made of shells just as he was. But her wings were so stunning, a lovely opal black sheen catching the light and making her glow like a beach given angel.

"You're here. "

Relief and reassurance were quick to follow, his arms easily moving to circle about her. They clicked into place as if that was how they were always supposed to be.

" I love you. "

"This is weeeeeeird."

She patted her fingers against his face, intrigued by the tippy taps and weirdness.

"Yes.. yes it is..... how do feel about getting rid of the sea shells? "

He asked, finding the sensation incredibly unpleasant.

Willow shrugged.

"Up to you. What happens to us if they go away?"

The shells made a tinkling noise as she fanned her wings.

Ansel looked up, watching her wings ripple in a ghostly fashion between wings and shells. After a moment his wife stood before him, as he did her, their bodies pressed flush against one another.

/ Apparently we're just us./

He shared, stealing kisses from his wife here, feeling a soft brush against his back he couldn't help but smile.

"You took out the other half? "

He asked, looking back to the pile of shells and licorice mess.

"You were scared," she explained only half apologetically.

Ansel nodded, smiling slowly.

"It is kind of scary having something like that following you. "

He pointed out, looking at the still disheveled pile of shells, watching it slowly transform into a pile of male Taylor.

Ansel kissed Willow twice more before going over to the man and helping him get free now that he didn't feel scared of the guy.

" I really hope I'm not projecting to you.... if I am, I'm sorry. "

Cause he could just see the breakfast conversation with his kids tomorrow morning ... "Yeah, your dad split me in two last night".

"Oh yeah, i get it. I just didn't want you to have to be afraid."



Taylor-m chuckled.

"No hard feelings, babycakes."



Out of his periphery, Ansel would probably be able to see his wife stare hard at the nearby leaf made out of fruit roll-up. After a second, she leaned over and experimentally bit it off the branch, perking up when she found the experience exactly how she expected it to be.

Ansel glanced to his wife, grinning.

"You look rather delighted . . ... good? "

He asked, body easing at the pet name, there was something very 'Taylor' about it that put him at ease as he rested just shy of resting against the third. He glanced over Taylor F, smiling to himself.

"You know...... I don't think of them as separate people since they aren't.... but this is kinda trippy. Feels like they should be hitting on themselves. Hey, like, are neutral pronouns preferred or like, do you not care? It's messing me all up. Cause I wanna use whatever you are at present cause it's engrained standard. But then it feels wrong cause your not just one..... like... damn it. Why is this confusing? "

So dream Ansel had less filter as a result of being in his own head and all. Oops?

Willow grinned.

"It's real candy! Come eat some with me!"

She paused as he asked Taylor about pronouns. She wanted to ask if it was actually Taylor or just a dream, but she decided that he might not realize he was asleep and didn't want to spoil that for him.



They both laughed.

"You can call me anything as long as you call me for a good time," they teased in stereo.

Ansel groaned.

"I am so, so happy there's only one of you in my life. "

He smiled at his wife.

"I didn't just call her, I brought him hooome."

He shared in mock surprise as he moved to kiss Willow.

"You sure you don't mind? Cause.... cause Nora is worried about being replaced. Which is impossible for either of you to be replaced....."

He quickly explained, worried Willow might think the same. He promptly shoved an entire banana leaf sized piece of roll up into his mouth, eyes bugging out as he tried to not choke.

"You can't replace me anymore, but I never minded, even when that was the case."

She nearly dropped the few Gummi bears she'd picked off a bush as she reached to make sure he was okay.

"Whoa! What are you doing?! You can take your time! Normal bites!"

/..... What's a normal bite? /

He asked as his eyes watered and he had no concept of how long to chew before swallowing. He eventually managed it and looked at her, coughing and sputtering.

/ That's..... sticky./

"Um... no more than a quarter of your mouth should be full."

Willow considered him before grabbing a handful of cotton candy from the bush and tearing off a normal bite. The stakes were much lower if he messed this up.

"Here."

She showed him before poking it into his mouth.