Let's Play!

/ If I wanted a run of the mill flower I could close my eyes, spin in a circle, and pick it at whim. You're precious. Special. Mine. /

He reminded her with nothing but love.

/ You're the fit to me that I need. /

Willow cuddled up under his chin then.

/Thank you for loving me./

/ Thank you for giving me a second chance./

He whispered, unable to shake the ghosts of his past mistakes.

Willow shook her head a little.

/It's not really like that. You didn't have to change./

/I really, really did. I didn't like any of the alternatives./

He offered her honestly

Willow smiled a little.

/No, that was a choice you made for what you wanted. It wasn't a prerequisite for anything from me. I didn't give you ultimatums or withhold anything./

/ Willow.... I wanted to give you all of your life back. Including your freedom and self worth. You didn't require it of me. I did. Besides. You deserve a man that's worthy of you. /

Willow reached to pull him down for kisses, her heart swelling.

/Whatever you chose, I didn't give you a second chance. I never left you in the first place./

/ Well I'm pretty sure you should have, then. .... and I'm still going to spend eternity trying to be worth the woman you are. I love you. /

He met her kisses with tender ones of his own.

Willow shook her head a little.

/That's a bit much. I just wanted to make sure you knew I was faithful./

Ansel smiled a tiny bit, warm washing over him in what could only be pure affection and adoration, nothing malicious or even sexual as he booped her lightly.

"It might be a bit much. But I want to do it, anyway. "

"but... Do you believe me?"

Ansel looked her over.

/ That you haven't slept weigh anyone else? Yes. Why would you lie about that? /

He found the idea of lying about something so straight forward foolish.

Willow crossed her legs, suddenly a bit uncomfortable with his gaze on her skin, given the turn in the conversation.

"I didn't mean it like that. I wasn't talking about sexual faithfulness."

She averted her gaze, stuffing down the little sting his response had given her.

"I mean, it's true that way too, but that wasn't what I was referring to."

Ansel leaned to kiss her forehead.

/ The thought never entered my mind that your heart ever belonged to another. My greatest worry was of it could still love me./

He answered tenderly.

Willow stayed in place, head ducked.

"That's not quite what I meant either..."

This time she didn't clarify, though, regretting having asked at all. He probably wouldn't have believed her even if he had understood her meaning. It probably didn't seem true from his side of the story. So instead she just curled up and rested her head on his shoulder.

Ansel looked over her.

"I'm sorry.... what did you mean? "

He asked gently, not following her and feeling bad for if.

Willow picked at a nail, staying quiet at first. She shrugged eventually.

"I didn't abandon you. I didn't betray you."

That was as close as she felt she could get to putting it into different words.

"But it's fine."

Ansel looked over her.

"I know you never will. "

He answered softly, watching her.

"I never doubted that. "

Willow was reserved, not as comforted since she had set aside the issue.

"you doubted everything about me for a while. I just wanted to make sure you knew now."

Ansel nodded thoughtfully, kissing at her lightly.

"I'm sorry for that. "

Willow tugged the blanket over their laps and closed her eyes.

"no, it's okay. I deserved it."

"How on earth do you think that? "

He asked, holding her close to him. He wanted to protect her from such thoughts. Guard her against all the ick he was worried would come for her.

"I dunno. There are plenty of things you could blame it on. I was not a good partner."

Willow wasn't actually bothered by any of this, though. She was warming up and snuggly and only a tiny bit munchy at worst.

Ansel kinda looked at get in disbelief, shaking his head.

"We both had very much to learn about ourselves and relationships of a lasting nature. "

He expressed gently, letting the conversation settle for the moment. He could tell he was on the very of digging his heels in on something that didn't warrant it, so was trying to let it be until he could work through it.

After a minute or two, she gave him a gentle squeeze.

"Do you like what you found out?"

Ansel looked up to her.

"Most of it, yes. There are pieces of me I'm highly disappointed in...?"

He ventured slowly, clearly he had fallen into thought and was checking that what he was answering matched what she was asking.

"I'm glad it's only pieces."

Willow pressed her face into the side of his neck, biting him gently.

"Hopefully it'll only be pieces of me too."

Ansel smiled, hugging her as he nipped back at her.

/ You're wonderful. I have loved all of you so far. Some also make me sad,, cause I feel responsible or wish you did not have them at all. /

"If it's only some, then it's as good as I could hope."

Willow smiled too, a few Goosebumps prickling across her skin as she sank into his embrace.

"I still can't completely believe we did it," she breathed against him.

"Really? It's so nice that we did it for me.... I feel like less is lost between us now. "

Willow closed her eyes, shrugging a little.

"It just seems so... Improbable."

She gently pressed her nails into his back as though trying to convince herself by what she could feel from it.

"That you would still want to... That you just took me away and we did something so huge so simply... That it worked."

Ansel nuzzled and kissed at her, a tingle of amusement creeping in.

"We are probably gonna return to a house with colored walls, and a kinder kid or two playing hookie."

He teased as offering that it might not be entirely seemless. But there was no missing the happy joy or the amusement as he shifted to kiss at her.

"I can never top this, you know..... binding? It's pretty much the most demonstrative of the term forever. "

Willow met his gaze.

"I'm not asking for more. I just..."

She was still adjusting to the idea, really trying to wrap her brain around it.

"I'm just scared I'm going to wake up and find out that somehow none of it was real."

Ansel shifted and kissed her, biting her lip just enough to draw blood. A matching little knick appeared on his lip and a small bead of blood trickled down his chin.

"Very, very real."

"I hope it stays that way."

Willow watched it for a second, a flurry of emotions sifting through her in a moment: surprise, relief, lust, conflict. In an instant they settled down to something sad despite the soft affection underneath as she wiped away the droplet with her forefinger.

Ansel shifted to kiss her again, nuzzling her.

/ Why speed past the good feelings and into sadness? /

He asked tenderly.

Willow's eyes slid away.

/I only have a limited amount of control over my emotions. I didn't pick sad. But it's okay. Sad is allowed and me processing things quickly is a good thing./

/.... Do you always feel that way? Like you must process things quickly? /

/yes. That's just the way of things./

She shrugged indifferently.