I Didn't Think It Would Happen Like This

[Tree]

Ansel hugged her as he woke, confused as he brushed his fingers across her hair.

"What's wrong, my love? "

He asked softly, concern clear.

[Sushi]

"The world is a bad place," replied the muffled voice.

[Tree]

"It can be...... but.... "

He kissed the top of her head.

"Maybe there's something good, too?"

[Sushi]

Willow shook her head without lifting it.

"No. Cuz I want everything to be different, but nothing is. Everything is still bad."

[Tree]

"I don't feel like we're bad? "

He was missing something, he just didn't know what.

[Sushi]

"Yeah. That too. Cuz everything keeps going bad and there's still no room for me and I don't feel better about bodies and I'm a disappointment to you about the kids and I'm just bad in general and I'm still upset cuz I still feel like you lied even though I knew it wasn't realistic and you were just being dumb in the first place."

Huh. Well, she'd been cooking for a few days now. The result was a little different this time, though. It wasn't the typical silence.

[Tree]

Ansel looked baffled.

"Wait wait, hey.... let's slow this down a tiny bit. What do you feel like I lied about? "

[Sushi]

"That I might not have to kill people just to exist."

Willow turned her head, letting her cheek flop against his skin.

"I knew better, but it's one of the worst things. "

[Tree]

"Wait wait.... when did you kill someone? Who made you kill? "

Poor guy was so lost.

[Sushi]

"Last night," she answered morsels.

"It's just the rules - the way things are. I have to feed to stay conscious. I have to kill to feed. It's thy way of the world. The bad world."

You know, her body did feel fine today, though.

[Tree]

Ansel thought about it, confused.

"I .... wait, love... why do you have to kill to feed? "

Backing up. He was really worried about her. But he needed to start at square one.... again.

[Sushi]

"Because you said so. Because it's too dangerous for me to have connections to random vampires."

Willow shrank down, scrunching up miserably.

"It's okay. I don't want them, anyway. People are awful."

[Tree]

Ansel relaxed as he saddened.

"That's not entirely the circumstance..... why didn't you feed from me? "

They were bound. No worries or risks there anymore.

[Sushi]

"Because you're not a walking snack pouch for me to use and discard for my own convenience... And you need it more than me anyway "

[Tree]

".... I can easily fill up. You need filtered. I don't mind being a safe pathway for you to eat. "

Ansel shared softly.

[Sushi]

Willow sighed heavily.

"I guess. "

It was neither an agreement nor a disagreement. She was too miserable for anything else, figuring it was maybe just too late.

[Tree]

Ansel tilted his chin down to kiss the top of her head.

"I am sorry it is so hard for you. I don't want you to carry this alone, I'm here. "

Ansel reminded her in gentle tones, holding her close.

[Sushi]

"That makes me feel the opposite, "she told him after a minute.

[Tree]

"I don't know what the opposite is, exactly? Like... too surrounded?"

He asked carefully, feeling bad for being confused.

[Sushi]

"No."

Willow squeezed her cheek against him more firmly.

"Like I shouldn't have said anything and should have just dealt with it by myself."

[Tree]

Ansel shifted to lightly run his fingers through her hair.

"But it would hurt me to know you were keeping things from me that I should know. I should know if things are hurting you or bringing your heart pain. "

[Sushi]

She closed her eyes. That felt nice.

"But everything hurt cuz the world is bad and I'm a wimp."

[Tree]

"You're not a wimp, darling. I'm sorry this happened for you. We can find other ways to help you. "

He soothed, liking the tiny bit of relaxing he felt in her.

[Sushi]

"But, but..."

Willow pouted.

"But I wanted everything to be different - better. "

[Tree]

Ansel nodded, unable to help himself as he kissed her prefectly little pouty lips.

" I believe it's already headed that way. Even if it doesn't feel like it yet. "

[Sushi]

"Why can't I just be better now? " she whined.

[Tree]

"It's crap, I know. But change takes time. Patience.... care. "

He punctuated it all with little kisses.

"All things I'm happy to pour into you while we get to that better place. "

[Sushi]

"I don't need to change, though. I need to un-change and be what I used to be."

Willow blew a little raspberry.

"What if I break again when you stop because I'm better? "

[Tree]

Ansel arched an eyebrow, eyes soft.

"We are now two sides of one. We're together. I'm not giving up on you. I'm not going to stop supporting you. ... but if I do? I'll still be here to help you if you do break again. "

[Sushi]

Willow whined again with vague discontent before shifting suddenly to squish herself against him, wrapping a leg around his.

"I want the lulls to be real life," she told him pathetically.

In the lulls, it would have been okay to believe him.

[Tree]

"They are real life, my dear. "

All of it was real life. His poor wife was so distressed. He gently let his other hand gently massage her lower back as he kept on petting her hair with his other.

"It's all alright, my love."

[Sushi]

"But... they're better than real life. I like who I get to be and how I feel in the lulls better."

She eased further under his comforts.

"I... I don't have to be so... so sad... and careful."

The woman was starting to drowse a little. She'd likely fall asleep in the next few minutes if things kept up like this.

[Tree]

"You don't have to be so sad and careful, even outside the lulls. You'll see. '

He reassured as he continued his dedicated comfort and care for her. Once she was asleep he carried her to bed and tucked her in. Kissing her forhead he'd record a short audio message letting her know he loved her and he'd see her soon, just reminding her he was headed out for his lunch date with Brooke.

Which he was going now to check on to make sure she was properly dressed

[Sushi]

Brooke was walking around in a pair of her brother's overalls and a pair of costume fairy wings.

"Is it time yet? "

[Tree]

Ansel considered Brooke.

".... almost. Is this what you wish to wear? "

He might allow it...... with a shirt.

[Sushi]

Brooke nodded.

"Except I want the legs shorter. I try bunching them but they keep falling down. "

She held out one foot for him to roll up.

[Tree]

Ansel debated.

"Let's pick a shirt first and then I'll get it all rolled up? "

He could make it work.

[Sushi]

"But we don't have any adventure shirts! "

Judging by the clothes tossed everywhere, she'd already looked

[Tree]

"Ah..... well regular shirts can be adventure shirts in a pinch?"

He pointed out with a small smile.

[Sushi]

"I guess."

She looked around at the heap.

"Which one is the most almost- adventure? "